HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
