dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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