Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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