I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Someone shattered a urinal.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
