Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
