i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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