I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
