we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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