We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
