Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
