Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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