she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
