So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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