my mouth tastes like poor choices
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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