she was so not down for the gang bang
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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