Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
