He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
