I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
