This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Someone shit on the floor
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
