Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
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