your room smells of hookers.
And success
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
is that a dick in a sweater?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
