i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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