I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
