We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
