i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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