I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
