my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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