I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
