Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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