I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
