you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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