That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
