dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
