Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
