so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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