..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
