Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
