I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
