..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
