Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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