porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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