Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
