im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
