Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
