Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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