Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
