omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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