I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im six kinds of drunk right now
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
