That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
