Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize