So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
