you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
