This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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