Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
