Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
