Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
