i don't like sucking hair
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
