I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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