Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
