Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
