so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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