Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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