well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
