Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
